I’m bad at social media. It’s just a fact. But there’s a loooot more to it than not knowing what to post or when to post or what to say or how to be genuine still doing whatever the algorithm wants – as if all of that wasn’t problem enough. Do you want the truth about why I’m bad at posting your photos?
I’m too close to them.
You know how when you look at a word too much and it doesn’t even look like a word anymore? It’s like that. I spend days to weeks straight looking at your photos. Combing over every detail. Looking for inconsistencies. Questioning every decision. By the time I am done editing, I have combed over your photos no less than 5 times. I have questioned my skill as a photographer, my judgement as an artist, and why you put your trust in me at all.
Was that too honest?
It’s true though. Your photos mean so much more to me than just photos. These are your connection to the past. They are your reminder of hope, joy, love, happiness, excitement, nerves, and all the emotions in-between. I want them to be perfect. And that’s a whole other struggle for me as there is no “perfect” because art is subjective (but that’s a tangent that I’m not going on right now).
So that’s what I mean when I say that I’m too close to them. I am emotionally invested in them. In a different but similar way than you are. These are your life events and your loved ones, but I care so deeply about honoring your trust and your special moments. I care about supplying you with quality, timeless images so that you are transported in an instant back to those moments and seasons that mean so much to you.
OK, but what does that have to do with me posting your photos?
I’m not sure I ever live up to those lofty goals. Too honest again? It’s true. Every time I send off a gallery, I die a little inside. My excitement for you to see your images is overwhelming but the fear that I didn’t deserve your trust is always creeping up. I have to walk away. I have to throw myself into my next project, my next gallery, my next book – holding my breath until I see you post your photos and gain back some of the validation that I do know what I’m doing after all. But sometimes it still takes time for me to feel that way myself. I go back through years-old galleries and finally feel love for them. After walking away, after not questioning every decision I made in editing every day for the last month, I finally can see those photos for the art that they are.
And then I still don’t post them because my editing has changed (even subtly) over the year(s)…
And none of this rant even mentioned how I get all up in my head about what to say in a post.
So basically when I say “it’s not you, it’s me” I’m not breaking up with you or your photos. I’m declaring the truth. Hi, it’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me.
I still want to take your photos though. I want to go through all of the emotions. Inquire here for weddings & inquire here for all other photo sessions